Walking Myself Off the Ledge

When I launched my divorce coaching business, it was a huge milestone for me. I have been drawn to coaching for years before I actually took the plunge, but I had so much fear around pursuing it as a career. I was afraid that I’d have nothing to offer to distinguish myself in the sea of other life coaches, afraid of starting yet another career, of people judging me for leaving real estate that I was so successful at. But, in my spare time, I kept reading books about attachment styles, doing courses about how to self-love, watching TED talks about why people fall in or out of love… I would spend all my free time exploring the ins and outs of relationships and breakups. That was all I wanted to talk about. And then Covid happened in March and it completely shut down my real estate business, providing me with unemployment and a lot of free time to think. And I realized that the part of real estate I liked best was getting to know people and talk to them, especially if I could help them solve a problem. For example, several of my buyers would have a moment, just before they would sign the contract, where they would freak out. I would get late night phone calls from terrified buyers saying they want to back out of the deal, not because they really wanted to, but because their minds would play tricks on them, telling them that they don’t deserve this beautiful apartment or that they won’t be able to support it financially (against all evidence that they were more than qualified and very financially able). I would call this particular occurrence “walking them off the ledge”. I would ask them questions to see where the fear came from, was it real, listen to them, hold them (metaphorically), and assure them that they could certainly back out, but did they really want to? And sooner or later, they would calm down and we would proceed with the deal and they would later thank me for not letting them miss out on a great thing because of their fears. And funny enough, without exception, the clients that would panic the most, faired best over the years, their investment properties skyrocketing in value. So, when Covid happened and I saw an opportunity to finally pursue what I loved, but was terrified of it, I walked myself off the ledge in a similar manner. I reminded myself of all of my experience and education, all the hours spent meditating, all the tools I already had in my belt. All the relationships gone wrong that taught me how to make myself feel better afterwards, my own divorce and how I handled it. I got myself a coach to keep me in check, then got certified as a life coach myself, then created a curriculum to help people who are considering a divorce, going through it or have gone through it. People who, like me, were struggling to make sense of their relationships or marriages ending. And I knew how to help them. It was a no-brainer, really. This was my career.

And I am so excited to be doing this. Because I have also struggled and I have emerged on the other side happier and stronger, finally understanding how the pieces fit together, looking back. And I have so much to teach others - not just how to make sense of it, but how to thrive through it. This is how “Conversations with Ana” were born :)